Someday Prayer

Someday.           Maybe someday soon, you will have that house you always dreamed of.  You know, the one with the herb garden at arm’s reach…with the sort of herb-variety gourmet chiefs would envy…Oregeno, basil, several different kinds of mint…all there at you’re fingertips to be used however and whenever you’ld like.  Of course somewhere in the garden, most likely down by the willow trees, will be a hammock…and plenty of trees… perfect for climbing, tree houses, forts…you name it.

Now the house itself is not big, probably not much bigger than your old apartment, but instead of being surrounded by concrete, you will have a view of something green…and leafy… most importantly, you wont be here.  No, not the physical here, I am talking about the other kinds of here…the heres that burden you with self-doubt,self-imposed limitations, and general gloom.

The time will come, very soon, where you wont be thinking about the what-ifs (unless its for a new story idea). When you wont be still reeling from the finacial hardships of the recently single-unemployed parent.  When you wont have to choose between buying food and paying the light bill.  When you wholeheartedly trust your mothering skills and never doubt whether things might be better or easier as a  co-parent.   You no longer identify yourself as a single parent. You also find that it is no longer relevant to think about those so called friends that bailed the second life got too real…And anyways, you don’t have the time to expand your energy into thinking about any of that stuff  when your so busy tending your herb garden, and writing your stories, and building tree houses…

And the time will come…maybe it already has…when the people in your life are few but   trustworthy, your friends; courageous. And you; patient… mainly with yourself…

Someday.

Amen.